Last Friday evening my car wouldn’t start. Knowing that I wouldn’t have time to take it in on Monday and that I needed the car on Tuesday, I decided I would fix it myself on Saturday. This was a strange conclusion because I’ve never done any car repair before. Heck, I rarely even take it in for oil changes. Haha, so many people cringed at reading that. But it’s true. So lesson #1: if I’m selling a car, you probably don’t want to buy it. Even though it would have the appealing ad copy “one owner”. I decided to take photos and post commentaries on Facebook as I did the repair, and allegedly it was more than mildly entertaining. So I figured I’d pull those posts together into a single blog post here:

My car won’t start, which I have self-diagnosed as a spark plug problem (based on zero auto repair knowledge+being an engineer). Five minutes watching a (great) how to video and a trip to Canadian Tire and Sherwood Deli and I am ready for my first auto repair experience.

Spark plug replacement, steps 1 and 2: Open hood and eat sandwich.

Spark plug replacement steps 3 and 4: Take off manifold cover (is that what it’s called?) while experimenting with whether this can be done with one hand, as this is being done in parallel with step 2. Wash hand in case sandwich is messy enough that it requires a second hand (it is). Sandwich does not get put down at any point. Obviously.

Spark plug replacement steps 5 and 6: Open beer and contemplate that you have exhausted all of the easy steps.

Spark plug replacement step 7: notice that this looks to be broken and ponder what it is and whether that might be the real problem. Anyone know?

suddenly I experienced the true benefit of Facebook – instant answers to questions! Like these:

“Trim the end and reattach to the nipple. It is a vacuum hose. May not be the reason for the non start, but should be fixed.” A second comment confirmed that. Validation!

“That tin pot is a vacuum control on your fuel rail. That means your fuel rail is not controlled properly and you have a major vacuum leak. It could stop your car from working.”

Spark plug replacement steps 8 – 12: Realize that the ratchet set won’t work because it actually requires allan keys. While contemplating where your Allan keys are, check oil and realize you basically don’t have any. Add oil as your excellent neighbour Ken pulls up and offers his Allan key set. Remind yourself of the lefty-loosey righty-tighty mantra as you remove the bolts to get the manifold out of the way.

Spark plug replacement steps 13 – 16: Enjoy a moment of admiration at how easy it is to lift the manifold up and out of the way. Find appropriate jack to hold it up there, and then feel sweet accomplishment as you see how easy it is to use the spark plug wire tool to remove the wires. Then decide it is time to rewatch the video part about removing the actual spark plugs.

Spark plug replacement step 17 – 19: go back to the toll box for thw extended 5/8 ratchet noticing the SPK written on it, almost as though it was designed for spark plugs, then adopt a wow cool expression as the spark plug comes out with the ratchet. Just like in the video! Minor note: took way more than the 7 or 8 turns in the video. Ponder whether to open another beer or wait until the job is done.

Spark plug replacement steps almost last: feel sense of accomplishment as all plugs are in. Wonder if the car will actually start as you start to reattach the manifold. Then the cursing begins. Seriously VW? Allan f’ng screws to hold the fricken engine together? Thinking beer number two before starting this would have been wise. To be continued…

And it’s all back together minus one screw that is lost in the engine. I didn’t realize VW employed child labor, but I don’t see how some of these screws get installed without the help of tiny fingers. A bit worried that a lost screw in the engine is a bad idea but I’m going to do the test run anyhow. Oh and wasn’t able to reattach that vacuum hose as it’s too short now. It looks easy enough to replace though. Now the moment of truth…

And it works! Although isn’t exactly purring like a new car. Off to Canadian Tire for a hose…and hoping the car will still start when I try to leave there.

Customer service win! Went to Canadian Tire for a vacuum hose for my car and the guy spent a few minutes looking at the computer asked what diameter, I said I didn’t know, and he then said, “we don’t carry it”. My sense was he wasn’t sure and didn’t want to bother, but I could be wrong. Went to Parts Source and the guy said there were a couple of diameters so he would go get a couple and see which fit. Note the rain in the photo. Part cost less than a buck. Gotta love people that do their beat to help their customers. This is my new go to store for all things auto.

Spark plug replacement project epilogue:
1. Got some help in the search for the missing screw.

2. Apparently some people feel that driving around with less than the minimum recommended amount of oil is a bad idea.

3. I wasn’t allowed to leave until the world (aka my car’s oil level) was righted.

4. And now that all is well, I’m sure I can wait a few months before getting that oil change.

Next up: replacing the brake pads and rotors!

Elsbeth Vaino is an engineer turned personal trainer who for some strange reason felt that a post about replacing spark plugs belongs on her nutrition and exercise blog.