“Lose ten pounds”
“Fit into my jeans”
“Be ready for beach season”
“Lose my pregnancy weight”
“Improve my health”

Virtually everyone who decides to go on a diet knows what they want to achieve to some level of detail. In fact “What is your goal” is the first of my Two Questions You Must Ask. Having goals is a topic that is frequently talked and written about. In fact I wrote about fitness goals here. The linked article is about working out but the same concept applies to diet and nutrition. 

Goals are important. And the first step to having goals is asking yourself, What is my goal?

The second Question You Must Ask, is not discussed as often, even though it’s equally important: What am I willing to do to reach this goal?

This question may even be more important, because it determines whether you can reach your goal. For many people there is a gap between what they want and what they are willing to do, and that gap can be a source of unhappiness.

If you have a gap between what you want to achieve and what you’re willing to do to achieve it, you’re going to fail.

We all know the emotions that accompany failed diets. Usually there is some ice cream involved, which let’s face it, is nice. But it’s usually not enough to sooth the self-criticism and emotional torment that we put ourselves through when we fail.

Instead of setting yourself up for ice cream and failure, spend some time going over what you’re actually willing to do to get to your fitness and nutrition goals. If the what you’re willing to do part doesn’t match the goal, then you have to change the goal. You have to. Because if you can’t convince yourself before you start your nutrition and/or exercise plan, there is no way you’re going to stick to it.

I know that sounds negative, but it’s the truth. Thankfully there is a giant upside: You don’t have to change a lot to change. Literally if you improve one thing about your nutrition – and stick to it – you will improve your health to some degree. Of course, the smaller the change in behaviour, the smaller the rate of change in results. But a smaller rate of change is still a change.

Changing to healthier habits is one of the best things you can do for yourself, but so many of us aim to do more than we’re ready to do. If you want to make change, be kind to yourself and set realistic goals that reflect what you are willing to do. Then come back and thank me in six months when you’ve seen the result of six months worth of a small change – both to your physical and emotional health.

Elsbeth Vaino is a personal trainer and a realist in Ottawa, Canada.

If this resonates with you, check out my 8 week habit-based healthier living program, Lean Out. It provides a practical approach as well as recommendations for how to figure out the approach that fits for you.

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